The Triangle of Trust (And the Three-Legged Stool)

It was a beautiful day in Temple, Texas, at the Black Rifle Coffee Company, where a deep dive into the heart of leadership took place. In a conversation between Erin and Edmund,

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two combat veterans and business consultants, the message was clear: Trust is the cornerstone of effective leadership. Whether you are a corporate executive, a military officer, a sports coach, or a parent, the principles of trust remain the same. Without it, your ability to influence and transform those around you is nonexistent. 

Here is the breakdown of the "Triangle of Trust"—and why it might be time to check if your leadership is starting to "wobble."

The Trusted Leadership Stool

The Triangle of Trust (And the Three-Legged Stool)

While the framework often starts as a triangle, it is perhaps better visualized as a three-legged stool. If one leg is shorter than the others, the whole structure becomes unstable. To build an environment where people feel safe and empowered, a leader must master three core components:

1. Authenticity: Keeping it Real

Authenticity is about sincerity. In the streets, they call it "keeping it real."

• Consistency: There must be a direct alignment between your words and your actions.

• Vulnerability: As the saying goes, "Pedestal performance is perilous." If you put yourself on a pedestal of perfection, your team won't relate to you.

• Humanity: Admitting mistakes and showing fears doesn't make you weak; it makes you human. When a leader is authentic, the team feels safe to be themselves.
  

2. Logic: The Power of Competence

Logic is the foundation of competence. If you are pitching an idea or giving a directive, it has to make sense.

• The "Underpants Gnomes" Trap: Avoid the South Park "Step 1: Steel Underpants, Step 2: ?, Step 3: Profit" logic. If your team is scratching their heads, you’ve lost them.

• Barney Simple: Don't use "Sunday words" or corporate jargon to sound smart. Boil complex ideas down so they are easy to digest.

• Data-Driven: Base your decisions on evidence. When a leader presents a logical path from A to B to C, it builds confidence, which ultimately leads to competence.
  

3. Empathy: The Human Connection

We are not robots. We come to work with baggage, fears, and emotions. Empathetic leaders recognize this and adapt.

• Active Listening: Put the phone away. Stop playing games or checking messages. Give the person in front of you your full attention.

• Know Your Audience: Take a page out of General David Petraeus’s book. He communicated differently with a private than he did with a sergeant major or an officer. He met people where they were.

• The DISC Profile: Understanding whether someone is Dominant, Inspiring, Supportive, or Cautious (DISC) allows you to tailor your communication so it resonates.

The "3 Cs" of Trust

Trust isn't just a feeling; it’s a process. Edmund and Erin highlighted a secondary framework to help visualize how trust is built day-to-day:

1. Communication: Clear, concise, and two-way. Always ask for a "brief-back" to ensure the message was received correctly.

2. Confidence: When people understand the "why" (logic) and feel valued (empathy), they gain the confidence to act.

3. Competence: Giving your team "enough rope" to operate. As Erin mentioned, a good leader trusts their team enough to leave the room, knowing the organization will be better when they return.

Is Your Stool Wobbling?

We all have a "wobble." Maybe you’re highly logical but lack empathy. Maybe you’re authentic, but your logic is shaky.

To fix the wobble, you need a "straight shooter"—a trusted agent (like a warrant officer in the Army) who will give you the hard truth without the fluff. You can’t fix a short leg on your stool if you’re "buying your own BS."

"Give your team enough rope that allows them to trip up, but not enough to hang themselves."

Leadership is about disrupting the status quo and being an "iconoclastic leader"—someone willing to break the mold to make something better. But you can only disrupt if your team trusts you enough to follow you into the unknown.

Listen to the podcast Episode, The Architecture of Influence: Decoding the Triangle of Trust

About the Author

Edmund R. Tirado MSIOP

Leadership Game

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About Erin Edgard

DR. Erin Edgard, MD, U.S. Army COL (Ret)