Are They Actually Hearing You?
- Edmund Tirado MSIOP
- Apr 22
- 3 min read
Updated: Apr 29
This article translates the academic rigor of APA research and the raw, "boots-on-the-ground" wisdom from the podcast recorded at Black Rifle Coffee.
The "Back Brief" and the Illusion of Communication: Are They Actually Hearing You?
We’ve all been there. You’re standing in front of your team, you give what you think is a "concise and clear" set of instructions, and you head out. Then, 48 hours later, you realize half the team is headed North while the mission was to the South.
As I discussed recently with my co-host, Dr. Erin Edgar an US Army MD Colonel retiree, the first fallacy of leadership is assuming that because you said it, communication actually occurred. In the world of Industrial-Organizational Psychology, we call this the gap between transmission and reception.
1. The Danger of "SAT Words" and Jargon
In the podcast, Erin and I joked about using "perspicacious" language. While having "ten letters at the end of your name" is great for a CV, it can be a wall in the boardroom.
When we use heavy jargon—whether it’s military acronyms like PMCS and METL or corporate "speak"—we increase the Cognitive Load on our team. Research shows that high jargon use doesn't make you sound smarter; it actually correlates with lower team "buy-in." If they have to spend all their mental energy decoding your words, they have nothing left to execute the mission.
2. Beware the Dunning-Kruger Trap
We also touched on the Dunning-Kruger Effect. This is a cognitive bias where people overestimate their own competence. In leadership, this often looks like a manager who thinks they are a "master communicator" simply because they talk a lot.
The truth? Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools speak because they have to say something. If you find yourself talking just to hear your own voice, you might be falling into the trap of being "interesting" rather than "interested."
3. The Army Secret: The "Back Brief"
How do we fix this? In the Army, we used a tool called the Back Brief. It’s simple, it’s tactical, and it works.
Instead of asking, "Does everyone understand?" (to which everyone will just nod), you ask, "Okay, what did you hear from me?"
This creates what psychologists call Closed-Loop Communication. By making the listener repeat the intent, you ensure that the mental model in your head matches the one in theirs. Statistically, this practice can reduce errors related to misunderstandings by nearly 37%.
4. Building the "Leadership Garden."
One of my favorite parts of our conversation was the idea of the Leadership Garden. As a leader, you shouldn't be the only one talking. You need to rotate your facilitators.
Pull that quiet introvert aside—the one who’s been observing and "saving their energy"—and ask them to lead the next discussion. When you validate their voice, you trigger a dopamine surge that builds their confidence and increases the Leader-Member Exchange (LMX).
Take a poll below, on how you conduct your own back brief at work, home, or civic club meetings
How do you verify that your team heard you?
1) I ask 'Do you understand?' and wait.
2) I ask them to back-brief me in detail.
3) I assume they got it unless they ask.
4) I wait for the results to see success.
The LeadWise Bottom Line
Your title might enter the room before you do, but your ability to connect is what keeps you there. Stop trying to be the "smartest person in the room" and start being the most curious.
Are you ready to work yourself out of a job by developing your replacement?
If you're looking to strengthen your team’s communication or want to dive deeper into your own leadership profile, reach out to us at LeadWise Alliance Consulting. We offer DISC behavioral profiles, leadership games, and deep-dive seminars to help you move from being "interesting" to truly "impactful."
Listen Live: Join Dr. Erin Edgar (US Army COL Ret.) this Saturday at 8:00 AM Central on KMIL to keep the conversation going!
[Contact LeadWise Alliance Consulting Today] to schedule a team climate assessment or a leadership workshop. Let's build a culture where every voice counts, and every mission succeeds.
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